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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26550997">The Railway Arms</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/youstupidplonk/pseuds/youstupidplonk'>youstupidplonk</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Ashes to Ashes (UK TV), Life on Mars (UK)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Annie Cartwright - Freeform, Eventual Happy Ending, Fix It, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Gene Hunt - Freeform, Phyllis Dobbs - Freeform, Sam Tyler - Freeform, This is basically the conversations I wanted people to have, Trauma, alex drake - Freeform, chris skelton - Freeform, post series 3, ray carling - Freeform, shaz granger - Freeform, these idiots live in my head rent free</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 08:15:34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>13,385</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26550997</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/youstupidplonk/pseuds/youstupidplonk</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Spoilers for both LOM and A2A - set post series three of ashes to ashes </p><p> </p><p>  <em>And when it's all over we'll go to the boozer. Our boozer</em></p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alex Drake/Gene Hunt, Annie Cartwright/Sam Tyler, Shaz Granger/Chris Skelton</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Railway Arms</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hi everyone, this is my first fic and my way of coping with the Ashes to Ashes finale. </p><p>Rating is mostly for language.</p><p>I hope you enjoy it!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Railway Arms</p><p>Alex took a deep breath and walked through the door into the warm light of the pub. Glancing around she felt a sense of relief wash over her when she realised that Ray, Chris and Shaz were still there. As she started to walk towards them she felt a tap on her shoulder. Turning she realised who it was and smiled.</p><p>“DCI Tyler-” she began </p><p>He smiled “Sam’ll do”</p><p>“... Sam, It’s good to see you again” Alex returned the smile. She noticed that Sam looked younger than the last time she saw him, not only that but he looked happier.</p><p>“You too DI-”</p><p>“Alex” She quickly corrected him. This wasn’t an office, it was a boozer and titles belonged outside. </p><p>Sam looked around at the group that had arrived with Alex, recognising Ray and Chris but not the woman with them. Alex clocked his confusion and spoke before he could ask. </p><p>“DC Shaz Granger, she was a WPC when I arrived but before we left Guv promoted her. She’s Chris’s girlfriend” Alex smiled looking over at the three of them. “She’s very smart and was responsible for taking down a serial killer”. She smiled at Sam’s apparent surprise “She’s spent the last three years being underestimated by the men around her because of her age and her sex, I didn’t want it to happen in the afterlife too” She laughed softly. </p><p>“Taking down a serial killer at what, twenty five?” Sam began</p><p>“Twenty Six” Alex corrected</p><p>“Still it’s not bad. Not bad at all.” Sam clearly was impressed. He looked at the three of them before turning back to Alex “So you bought the whole gang with you? I’ve been saying to Annie and Phyllis it’s about time” He remarked</p><p>“Not quite the whole gang, Guv…….wasn’t ready to leave yet” Alex started to say but stopped when Sam nodded. </p><p>“He never is. Annie? Phyllis? This is Alex. She was my psychologist back in 2006” Sam turned and beckoned two women over, one of whom Alex recognised from the photographs Keats had given her. She smiled and started to greet them when she was interrupted by a voice behind her</p><p>“But don’t let her fancy title fool you,” interrupted Ray “she’s more mad than he is”  </p><p>Alex turned around with a good natured eye roll  “I've spent three years working with you lot. I think that’s enough to drive anybody mad Ray” she replied drily. </p><p>“We weren’t that bad, surely ma’am?”  Chris protested, to the amusement of Sam.</p><p>Alex paused for a moment, like she was seriously weighing up the pros and cons of being in CID. Finally she spoke“I suppose you all had your moments”. With a smile she took her drink from the tray in front of Chris.</p><p>“Chris! I told you you’d make a good copper one day!” Sam smiled. Chris stepped hesitantly forward, holding out his hand. Sam took it before pulling him into a hug. He then turned and held out his hand to Ray, who after a moment's hesitation smiled and shook it. Annie then stepped forward and hugged Chris and Ray before stepping back to look at them properly.</p><p>“My goodness Chris you’ve grown so much and Ray your hair looks so different, what year is it now?”</p><p>“1983 last I checked”</p><p>“It’s good to see you again Annie. Chris paused, and pulled Shaz forward gently, putting an arm around her “Shaz? This is Annie, Sam’s girl. Annie this is Shaz, my girl” Sam tapped Chris on the shoulder and gestured towards the table. Chris nodded and followed him. Leaving Shaz, Annie, Alex and Phyllis together at the bar. </p><p>Shaz turned to Annie with a smile.</p><p>“It’s good to meet you Annie. Can I just say mad respect to you for putting up with this lot alone for ten years. At least attitudes had moved forward a bit, and I had ma’am to back me up.” </p><p>“Shaz,” Alex gently put a hand on her shoulder and smiled “we aren’t in CID, you don’t have to call me ma’am anymore” </p><p>“To be honest ma’am….Alex… I don’t think I can stop”</p><p>Annie laughed softly before responding “It’s lovely to meet you too Shaz. I’ll admit, I heard some unsavoury things in my time, although I wasn’t alone. I had Phyllis who had a proper mouth on her and gave as good as she got” She turned and patted Phyllis on the shoulder. </p><p>“Phyllis was also too old to give a damn about what any of those men had to say.” Phyllis turned to Annie as she spoke “You were always too soft on them. Sometimes all you could do was dish it back to them” </p><p>“Sam also tried to keep the other boys in line, I don’t know what the 2000s were like but I get the impression that men had learned that the way to impress a girl is not through misogyny” Annie looked over to the table where Sam was catching up with Ray and Chris and smiled.</p><p>“I hate to dissolution you Annie” Alex’s voice was a mixture of amused and pitying “but the majority of men are still bastards in 2008” </p><p>Phyllis rolled her eyes “At least they’re consistent, if nothing else” </p><p>“And I think we’ve been quite lucky” Annie turned to Shaz and gestured over her shoulder “I know you don’t know Sam but I knew Chris quite well, he tried to understand the importance of not being a bastard even if he didn’t always go about it in the right way ”</p><p>Shaz smiled “He means well” </p><p>Sam stood up and waved the four of them over “Come on girls, you have to tell us everything we’ve missed in CID since we’ve been gone” </p><p>“I think a start would be the fact that Guv destroyed the blue peter garden” Alex remarked, picking up her glass and moving to join Ray and Chris at the table. </p><p>“He WHAT?” Sam’s face was one of pure disbelief. </p><p>“I tried to warn him” </p><p>“I don’t know what I was expecting, but not that. First Camberwick Green then the  Blue Peter garden, is nothing sacred to that man?” Sam despaired.</p><p>“Apparently not, apart from his beloved Quattro and his scotch” Alex rolled her eyes and took a sip of wine. </p><p>“His what?” </p><p>“New car Boss, nicer than the cortina it must be said” Chris cut in.  </p><p>“Thought so, does he still drive like a bat out of hell?” Sam looked back at Alex, knowing that she’d have some standards of what was safe driving and what wasn’t, even if the others didn’t. </p><p>“Yes. Yes he does” </p><p>“There’s nothing wrong with the Guv’s driving, he’s not the one who broke my nose!” Ray looked pointedly at Alex who tried to hide the smile that was growing on her face. </p><p>“Your nose wouldn’t have been broken if you’d worn your seatbelt like I told you to” Alex raised her eyebrow and returned Ray’s pointed look. </p><p>Shaz turned to Annie and dropped her voice “Who hasn’t thought about breaking Ray’s nose though” She whispered, causing Annie and Phyllis to start laughing. Ray heard his name and the laughter and glared at the three of them. </p><p>“OI! Just because we aren’t in CID anymore doesn’t give a couple of plonks the right to say whatever they like!” He tried to sound stern which only made Annie and Shaz laugh more. </p><p>Phyllis turned to Alex and dropped her voice, “Even if it’s what we’re all thinking.  This caused Alex to start laughing as well. Ray sighed and sat back down. </p><p>Everyone took their seats at the table. Alex found herself between Annie and Phyllis, not really paying attention to the story Ray was telling. </p><p>She looked down into her glass. The events of the last few days hit her once again. Viv, lying on the basement floor of Fenchurch prison, beyond any help. The funeral. The mysterious killing. Going for Dinner with Gene. Gene and Chris attempting to beat the life out of each other in CID not an hour after they’d left Luigi’s. The two of them making up. Gene coming to her flat, as they danced, feeling the most at peace she’d been since Viv died. A moment that was shattered by a knock at the door. The fight with Gene in CID the next morning, driving to Faringfield Green in a blur of anger and confusion, feeling the world being pulled out from under her as she realised who was buried there, the farmhouse, Keats destroying CID, the blag. </p><p>All of it was so much, too much. </p><p>With a shaking breath she thought about what had happened outside the railway arms. For a minute she had believed she was finally going to see her daughter again. She’d then thought she’d at least be able to stay with someone she cared about and who cared about her. She knew that Ray, Chris and Shaz didn’t need her anymore, but she knew she could still serve some purpose in CID. Now even that was gone. She felt a heaviness settle in her chest, one she hadn’t felt since she first arrived in 1981.   </p><p>
  <em>Are you meant to feel pain in the afterlife? She thought. I thought heaven was meant to be a place of peace. If that’s true, why does thinking still hurt? </em>
</p><p>She hadn’t realised she’d sighed loudly until Phyllis patted her on the arm. </p><p>“You alright love?” </p><p>“Yeah, I’m fine I just….think I’m still processing everything” Alex faltered, not knowing how to put everything she was feeling into words. </p><p>Phyllis nodded understandingly “It can take a while for everything to sink in. Particularly if there are people you had to leave behind” Her words made Alex sit up in surprise. </p><p>“How did you know?” </p><p>“I recognise the look on your face. I spent long enough seeing it in the mirror when I first arrived. It’s not easy. Who was it?” </p><p>“My daughter, Molly. God it was her birthday and the last thing I had done was promised I’d make it home for her party. We always blew out the candles together, ever since her dad left. I’d bought her a present and needed to go and pick it up. I-” Alex’s voice cracked and she looked down. </p><p> Phyllis leaned over and patted her arm “That’s tough. I mean for me at least my Mary was a little bit older, not so dependant on her old mum” </p><p>“You had a daughter too?!” Once again, Phyllis had Alex’s undivided attention. </p><p>“Yeah. Was about to get married as well. Still, at least she wouldn’t have been on her own. He was a decent lad, her fiancee.” Phyllis sighed, her face briefly taken over by a wistfulness that even without a mirror Alex could tell was on her own face. </p><p>“But still, you must miss her a lot.” Alex was almost desperate to validate Phyllis’s feelings. Even though she knew Phyllis had had longer to accept what had happened, she couldn’t imagine ever being able to get used to it so was desperate to sympathise.</p><p>“I do, but I know that she would be alright. It happens to people and most people are able to carry on. You know they’ll miss you, but eventually they’ll be ok and if your Molly is anything like you I’m sure she’ll work hard to make you proud and I know she'll be proud of you” Phyllis smiled warmly, taking Alex’s hand in hers. </p><p>Alex looked down again, her eyes filled with tears and she felt a lump form in her throat when she spoke.“Thank you for saying that. I know your daughter would be proud of you as well” </p><p>Phyllis laughed ”I’m not sure how true that is, you were trying to catch a public enemy. I misjudged the speed of an approaching car” She stood up to leave “I know you aren’t meant to get tired in the afterlife but I could do with a bit of kip. I’ll see you two later” </p><p>“Night Phyllis” Annie and Alex spoke at the same time </p><p>Phyllis left the table, with a quick wave to the others. Annie watched her leave and turned back to Alex. She was surprised to see Alex still looking downcast. Looking around the table and back at Alex, something clicked into place in her mind. She shuffled around the table and tentatively put her hand on Alex’s arm, the way Phyllis had done.  </p><p>“Listen Alex, I might be overstepping here but I’m under the impression Molly isn’t the only person you miss, but you should know the Guv will come back for you.” Annie held her breath and hoped she hadn’t completely messed up by mentioning Gene, but looking at Alex it seemed like she needed to talk about it. Annie was so lost in her train of thought she almost missed Alex’s response.</p><p>“How can you be so sure?” Her voice was low and shaky. Annie felt sorry for her, that feeling of finally finding someone you truly cared about and who cared about you, only to feel like you’d been completely abandoned was one she remembered all too well. </p><p>“CID stick together, no matter what. And Sam and Guv are more alike than they realise” She said the latter with a smile, which turned to a grin as Sam interjected from the other end of the table.</p><p>“I’d like to think I’m not as misogynistic as Guv” </p><p>“Obviously not” Annie laughed “I meant in other terms of your personality”</p><p>Sam scowled “Like what”</p><p>“You both have…..” Annie paused, desperate to make her point without offending her husband any further “a strong sense of justice….?” she finished cautiously.  </p><p> “She’s not wrong y’know” Chris looked up and joined the conversation. Looking between Annie and Sam as he spoke</p><p>“Yeah but there’s no doubt who’s easier to work with” Ray muttered under his breath, earning a glare from Sam.</p><p>“OI” </p><p>“Well I never got blown up or shot until you joined CID Tyler!” Ray raised his eyebrows pointedly</p><p>“I apologised for both of those! Multiple times!” Sam shot back</p><p>“To be fair Ray, Boss never tried to kick the shit out of me and Guv did”</p><p>Sam choked on his drink “He what?!” He looked from Ray to Chris in shock. </p><p>“To be fair Sam, This twonk let a suspect go” Ray hit Chris over the head as he spoke, causing Chris to grimace. </p><p>Sam looked at Chris in disbelief. “You did what?!” </p><p>Chris put his drink down and spoke quickly, desperate to prove he hadn't been completely wrong.  “He was innocent!” </p><p>Ray shook his head and opened his mouth to speak again. Annie sighed. Sensing a full-blown argument brewing she gestured to her and Alex’s empty glasses “Shouldn’t we get another round in?” When none of the men moved she sighed again and raised her voice slightly ”That was meant to be a hint” she nudged Sam who sighed and stood up, motioning for Ray and Chris to follow him. </p><p>Once they were out of earshot Annie turned back to Alex. “Anyway, Alex, I've noticed how guarded you are when you say anything about him and that you look down and don’t speak when someone else brings him up. I know that you miss him. ” </p><p>Alex rested her head on her hands and sighed. “I’m just worried about what'll happen to him. I know he took the loss of Sam hard and he still had Chris and Ray with him. Now they’ve gone I don’t know how he’ll cope” </p><p> Annie nodded understandingly “Guv is a strong man, he’s been doing this a long time. He will be ok Alex.” </p><p>“You think?” Alex looked up for the first time, her face losing some of the tension it had been carrying since she arrived.</p><p>“Yes I do. Honestly” </p><p>“Thank you for saying that, I appreciate it” </p><p>“No worries, I think you needed to talk to someone about it.” Annie patted her arm again “Looked like you were going to burst if you didn’t” she added with a smile.</p><p>“I think you would have done Ma’am” Shaz spoke, surprising Alex. Noticing her surprise Shaz continued quickly “I know the two of you liked to pretend there was nothing going on, but we could all see there was something different about the way you felt about each other” </p><p>“Was it really that obvious?” </p><p>Shaz shook her head “Probably not to everyone, I mean Ray wouldn’t recognise love if it came and bit him, and I honestly don’t think Chris thought it was possible, I think he thought you hated each other. I had a very boring job and I also know a thing or two about love, believe it or not”</p><p>“So when you say ‘we could all see’...”</p><p>“Yes, I basically mean I could see it. But Annie’s right, you probably would have driven yourself mad eventually” </p><p>“I suppose you’re right”  Alex turned back to Annie “This might be me overstepping, but how long was Sam gone for? I know that in 2006 it was just over a month, but how long was it here?” </p><p>“It was about ten minutes” Alex couldn’t hide the surprise on her face. Annie noticed and continued “I know it doesn’t sound very long but we were under attack trying to foil a blag. All five of us were undercover and we were ambushed on a train. An officer who claimed to know Sam had offered him help with whatever he needed so Sam wanted to go and find him and get back up. It turns out that he didn’t actually care about Sam, he was using him to try and tear CID apart.”</p><p>“That sounds familiar,” said Alex, without thinking “Sorry, carry on” </p><p>“So the four of us, me, Chris, Ray and Guv were outnumbered and trapped on the railway line. It looked like Sam wasn’t going to come back and that I was going to have to watch three of my colleagues die, or whatever the equivalent of dying would be.” Annie inhaled shakily “When they ambushed us we tried to escape and while doing so Ray and Chris and Guv all got shot. I tried to get them to safety but I wasn’t strong enough to move them and none of them could walk. Then one of them, he shot the Guv in the leg and was about to shoot him in the chest and kill him when Sam came back through the tunnel and shot him.”</p><p>“Quite an entrance” </p><p>“It was. I was relieved that he was alright. The others were as well I think, even though he’d managed to piss all of them off. He wouldn’t have let them down, not for anyone or anything. Just like the Guv.” She half smiled before turning to Alex and Shaz “What about that sounds familiar?” </p><p>Alex and Shaz exchanged a weighted look. Alex took a deep breath and began “The last few months before we all moved on, there was an enquiry into Discipline in CID. Quite a messy one led by a slimy bastard of a man called Keats. He really hated the Guv and wanted to see him destroyed. The day we arrived here he almost managed to turn Ray and Chris and Shaz against the Guv, he made them think that Guv had lied to them about the reality of the world they were in, when in reality he just forgot.” </p><p>Annie’s eyes widened “Turn Ray and Chris against the Guv” she looked towards the bar where Ray, Chris and Sam were talking. “They always used to worship the ground he walked on. Keats must have been convincing”</p><p>Looking at Alex, Shaz picked up the story “He was, I know you never bought what he had to say about the Guv ma’am” Shaz turned back to Annie “but he was very clever when it came to manipulating people. He’s the one who reminded us why we were there. But didn’t do it very gently, but that was towards the end. Mostly he focussed on driving ma’am and the guv apart” </p><p>“How so?” Annie’s voice carried a hint of apologeticness as she addressed Alex. </p><p>“He spent a large proportion of his time trying to convince me that the Guv had killed Sam, when the truth was he’d just come here with you. When I told him I thought Guv was innocent he was really pissed off and told me that I’d fallen right into his trap. He was generally a bit creepy, one of those men who felt like he needed to touch a woman's arms and shoulders constantly as he talked to her.” Alex shuddered involuntarily</p><p>Annie felt herself grimace “Gross” </p><p>“He was,” Shaz added, looking behind her to see where the men had gone. With a sigh, she pointed towards the bar. “I’ll be right back, it looks like someone has forgotten our drink orders but they’re all too scared to come back and ask” She got up and walked over to the bar where the men were all heatley debating something, but fell silent as Shaz approached. </p><p>“Typical” Alex tutted</p><p>“So what happened with Keats?” Annie was clearly on the edge of her seat. </p><p>Alex drained the remaining dregs of her wine and set her glass back down.“It turns out that he was literally a demon trying to collect souls to take to hell.” Alex paused and took a steadying breath “He took some others while we were there, but things started to fall apart when he took Viv, the skip of the station. He was a brilliant man and losing him really fractured CID. Guv blamed himself” </p><p>“What made the Guv think it was his fault?” </p><p>Alex put her head back in her hands momentarily before shaking herself and sitting back up. “There was a riot at Fenchurch prison, Viv went in without backup and was killed. The Guv realised he’d been a bit hasty, thought that he should have left it for uniform but you know what the Guv’s like when he gets wind of something happening on his patch. It was the start of a downward spiral in CID. During the next case we worked on, Chris let a suspect go as you probably just heard. Between you and me, he wasn’t wrong to do it but the Guv went ballistic. The suspect had confessed to protect someone he cared about and it was looking like he could have closed the case. They had a physical fight over it which pushed everyone on to two sides of an argument. I mean they made it up, but not before they had said some quite nasty things to each other” Alex looked over at Annie, whose face was a picture of shock</p><p>“Gosh, I could maybe imagine Ray and the Guv fighting, but Chris? He was always so eager to please and desperate for approval. That seems so out of character for him” </p><p>“I guess he just grew up a bit, became more confident in himself and developed his sense of right and wrong. It had been a strange year, similarly to Sam he ended up caught up in an operation to unravel CID. It started with someone offering him a loan to buy an engagement ring for Shaz. He said that they hadn’t put him under any pressure to pay it back, but they started to blackmail him for information about CID.” Alex took a sip of her drink “The Guv knew someone was passing information so he gave everyone a piece of evidence to guard in a locker and then we” She gestured to herself and the space next to her, trying to communicate Gene. “went to see which locker had been broken into and it was Chris’s locker.” </p><p>“That’s awful!” Annie sighed</p><p>Alex nodded “It was a horrible shock, particularly for the Guv. I know he wanted to know why Chris hadn’t just come clean at the start, if he’d done that Guv would have helped him, I know he would have done” Annie nodded in agreement</p><p>“So why didn’t he?” </p><p>“They’d go months without contacting him and he’d think it was over. I also think the longer he left it the harder it became for him to be honest. I feel so sorry for him because he’s a good man and just wanted the best for Shaz.” Alex nodded her head towards the bar, where Chris was laughing with Shaz</p><p>Annie followed her gaze “I can believe that”</p><p>“It did kind of work out in the end, he went back in undercover and they continued to pass information to him. It let us foil a massive blag, where lots of coppers from The Met were involved and being paid to stay quiet. They would have got away with it too if it hadn’t been for Chris.” </p><p>“Oh my gosh, so what happened?”</p><p>Alex laughed “I would love to tell you but you’d have to ask one of the others, unfortunately there was a bit of an incident with one of the associates. She took me at gunpoint and the Guv tried to shoot her but-” she paused, trying to phrase it in a way which didn’t make Gene look bad.</p><p>“He didn’t miss? The Guv miss a shot, that’s something I’ve never heard before” </p><p>“He didn’t exactly miss, but he missed the suspect?” Alex began cautiously, hoping Annie would catch on to what she was implying, which she did. </p><p>“He didn’t- wait- he shot you!?” </p><p>“It was an accident,” Alex was quick to defend Gene, knowing how many of his colleagues had lost faith in him after the shooting.“I ended up being pushed onto the bullet almost, so I spent three months unconscious” </p><p>“”</p><p>Gene threw open the door of the Railway Arms and glanced round. His chest tightened momentarily, the idea of his team no longer being there crossing his mind.  As he scanned the pub he spotted his two deputies at the bar. He walked towards them feeling his face pull into a smile, which widened when he realised who the third bloke was.  With each step closer to the bar he felt the tension he'd carried for the last thirty years dissipate. He'd done his job, his team had moved on, they were at peace and finally he was too. </p><p>Shaz spun round at the sound of the door opening. “Mary Magdalen, he took his time” Her voice was quiet but still caught the attention of the other three who all turned to face the door. </p><p>“He asn’t changed much” Chris remarked. </p><p>“He never ‘as though really. He never bought into any of those new trends” </p><p>“That’s true” Chris held up his hand as Gene walked towards them “Guv, we were starting to think you weren’t coming!” Chris half exclaimed as Gene held out his hand and Chris took it before Gene turned to shake Ray’s hand.</p><p>“Is that why you appear to have everyone else's drink apart from mine? Well add a whiskey on to that round Christopher and make it snappy. I’ve ‘ad one hell of a journey and now I’d like to get pissed” He looked around and nodded to Shaz, who was holding a tray of drinks. “Hope you have been keeping this lot in line Granger”</p><p>“Keeping Ray and Chris in line in a place where you don’t have to pay for alcohol? I don’t think so” Shaz laughed</p><p>“Of course those two couldn’t be trusted, but what about Tyler” Gene looked around</p><p>“Barely drinks anymore Guv, heaven has turned ‘im into a proper soft bastard, barely even has a scotch at the weekend these days. But that said ‘e’ll probably have a drink now you’re ‘ere” muttered Ray</p><p>Gene rolled his eyes “Blimey, one officer goes teetotal and the others become full-blown alcoholics. Don’t know what I expected mind” </p><p>Chris appeared at Shaz’s side with another full tray of drinks. “Shall we Guv? Shazza? Ray?” </p><p>They walked back to the table together, Gene hanging back as they got closer. </p><p>“Along with the round ladies, we have some new company,” Chris announced, setting the tray down. </p><p>“Yes and he’s been on his bloody feet all day chasing bastards around that southern shithole and needs a sodding drink” Gene interrupted. </p><p>Sam just rejoined the group and was about to sit down when he spotted Gene. He held out his hand and the two hugged. Gene then hugged Annie and Shaz who both sat down again. Alex stood up slowly, almost like she was in a dream. She stepped forward and before anyone had time to react she slapped Gene across the face. He didn’t seem surprised by her reaction, only slightly amused.</p><p>“No fainting this time Bollykecks?” He began, an almost smug smile on his face. </p><p>Alex glared at him “You are a bastard Gene Hunt!” Her voice was strained, almost like she was fighting to keep it steady. </p><p>“Nice to see you too, I’m here now aren’t I?” </p><p>“Wait fainting? When has she ever fainted” Shaz broke in, with an air of trying to diffuse the situation, although she was unable to completely mask the curiosity in her voice. </p><p>Chris turned to Shaz and began “When we first met Drake you remember she was working undercover-”</p><p>“As a prozzie” interrupted Ray. Alex glared at him and he chuckled. Sam, Annie and Shaz looked between the four of them, confusion evident on all of their faces. Gene noticed the confusion and was quick to continue the story</p><p>“A slimy bastard took her at gunpoint and we saved her ” Alex rolled her eyes. Of course she thought. Make yourselves out to be the heroes. I could have handled it on my own without you sweeping in. She was so irritated she almost missed Chris finishing the story. </p><p>“And then she named us all and fainted” He grinned, completely oblivious to the fact Alex looked like she was getting closer to completely losing her temper with all three of them. Gene swatted Chris over the head affectionately. </p><p>“Don’t flatter yourself Christopher, she only fainted after she recognised me” He smirked “I knew my reputation preceded me but not quite to that extent. I believe I owe that to you Sammy boy” He punched Sam on the shoulder. </p><p>“I hope you know that I told her how much of an obnoxious bastard you were when it came to women.” replied Sam, rubbing his shoulder where it had been punched. He turned to Alex quickly before the others interrupted him “I don’t know how much of that is true Alex, but I’d like to know from your perspective what happened next”. </p><p>Alex relaxed a little bit at Sam’s comment and opened her mouth to speak, but was cut off by Ray. </p><p>“She made quite the entrance into CID” He began “We were all just minding our own business and Guv comes in carrying this Pro like she’s his new wife or somethin-”</p><p>“I think you’ll find I was dragged in against my will” Alex interrupted impatiently.</p><p>Alex’s words drew everyone’s attention back to her, but only for a second. Gene’s voice was part defensive, part humorous “Only because you tried to throw yourself under a car, I was trying to stop you offing yourself on your first day” </p><p>Alex raised her eyebrows pointedly and crossed her arms. Stepping towards Gene her voice was dangerously quiet. “Well excuse me. I had just woken up twenty seven years in the past, dressed as a prostitute, on the boat where a madman had just tried to kill me, knowing it was my daughter’s birthday and that I had to get back to her. It was the first idea I had” She continued to glare at Gene, who remained unfazed, almost amused by her bad temper.</p><p>“It wouldn’t have ‘elped Bolly-kecks. It would have generated masses of paperwork for me and you’d probably have ended up stuck in hell for your troubles, although if I had known how much of a pain in my backside you’d prove to be-” </p><p>Alex interjected furiously “I’m sorry, how many cases did I solve in those three years?” </p><p>“How many times did I have to save you from dying?” Gene shot back</p><p>Alex scoffed “Most of those times I was only in danger because I’d be forced to chase a lead up by myself because none of you liked the fact that my instincts proved to be right! You couldn't bear to have a woman do a better job than you. Is now also the right time to remind you that you thought the best way to bring me back from a coma was to slap me across the face as hard as you could?” </p><p>Gene looked sheepish. “Well it worked didn’t it?” He muttered after a moment.</p><p>Alex stepped closer, her frown deepening “I couldn’t feel the left side of my face for a week!” </p><p> Gene rolled his eyes “Now you know how I felt when you punched me in the gob” he retorted. </p><p>Alex stepped forward again, a look in her eyes that suggested she was seconds away from repeating the incident. “I punched you because you were being a misogynistic prick and violence seemed to be the only language you understood” She moved forward again, Ray and Chris stepped in and pulled Gene back slightly. He shrugged them off and stayed where he was. </p><p>Ray dropped his voice so only Gene and Chris could hear. “She’s been a nightmare without you to argue with Guv” </p><p>“It’s true, at first she would pick a fight with any of us but then she decided none of us were worth arguing with” Chris added, louder than he had realised causing Shaz to turn around. </p><p>“Well I think she had a fair point. You lot are all still stuck in the bloody stone age. It’s like arguing with a deeply prejudiced brick wall ” She rolled her eyes. </p><p>“Good to know heaven ‘asn’t changed her. Still the mouthy Bolls we know and love” Gene spoke very loudly, Alex’s face softened slightly and when she spoke her tone had lost its harshness.  </p><p>“If you’re all done talking about me like I’m not here” She stepped forward slowly, holding out her hand. Gene realised what she was doing and followed suit. They shook hands, somewhat awkwardly before Gene sat down between Sam and Ray. Annie and Shaz meanwhile had moved to the very end of the table when it looked like a fight could break out and decided to stay there. Giving Gene a chance to catch up with his deputies. Annie looked around for Alex and spotted the blur of her red jumper heading towards the Ladies’. She turned to Shaz and dropped her voice.</p><p> </p><p>“Of all the ways that particular reunion could have gone, I wouldn’t have expected Alex to slap him like that and then pick a fight. I got the impression she was desperate to see him again and that she was heartbroken that he didn’t arrive with the rest of you” She spoke quickly, aware that Alex could come back at any moment. Shaz didn’t seem surprised by the scene they had just witnessed though, quite the contrary.</p><p>“She probably was but that’s the Guv and ma’am for you. That was actually quite tame for them” She paused and took a sip of her water ”No one understands their relationship. I don’t even think they do to be honest. I think they just argue all the time so they don’t have to confront their emotions. Guv because he puts up barriers and thinks he is unlovable, which probably wasn’t helped by his wife leaving him.  He’s also deathly afraid of women, especially smart, beautiful, argumentative women like ma’am. If nothing else she wasn’t scared of standing up to him.” Annie nodded which Saz took as a cue to carry on “Ma’am because she didn’t want to get attached to anyone or anything in this world because it would have meant accepting she was never going to see her daughter again” </p><p>“As someone who has a psychology degree, I’ll tell you that you’re spot on, particularly with the idea of the Guv being afraid of women.” She laughed softly “Were they always like that in CID then?” She nodded her head towards Gene. </p><p>Shaz rolled her eyes “Oh God yeah. You never knew from one day to another whether they were finally going to get a room or finally going to kill each other. It was quite intense.” Annie opened her mouth to ask another question, but Shaz answered before she could ask “and yes everything mentioned in that argument is true. Apart from Guv slapping ma’am to bring her back from her coma. That I don’t know about but honestly I wouldn't put it past him, he was so desperate to bring her back he probably would have gone cold turkey from drinking and smoking if he thought it would help” </p><p>“Really? I never thought someone would be that important to him” She glanced over at Gene, who was laughing with Ray “at least not so important he’d give up scotch AND smoking.” Annie paused and looked at the other members of CID. “I mean for anyone else he might have given up one but not both. He really does have a lot of feelings for Alex, whether he wants to admit it or not.”</p><p>“Isn’t that the truth. Although I don’t think it was altogether about his feelings. His neck was on the line for trying to kill her.” Shaz spoke casually, not noticing the surprise that took over Annie’s face. </p><p>“Alex told me that it was an accident!” Hearing the shock in Annie’s voice Shaz looked over.</p><p>“I think it was. We were trying to foil a blag, where lots of corrupt officers were involved and one of the associates took her at gunpoint. Guv tried to shoot them but missed and shot ma’am in the stomach.” Shaz paused to check Annie had absorbed everything. </p><p>Annie nodded “Alex told me that much” She motioned for Shaz to carry on.</p><p>Shaz took another sip of her drink before continuing. “It was particularly bad because not three days earlier they’d had an argument about the blag and he dismissed her from the case and threatened to kill her if she got in the way, which in hindsight looked quite bad”</p><p>Annie shook her head in disbelief “Oh my gosh! So what happened next?”</p><p>“Well Ray, Chris and I weren’t there when it happened, we heard screaming and then the shot and we followed the sound of it. We saw ma’am lying on the floor and Guv stood over her, with a smoking gun. He told us what happened and that he hadn’t meant to shoot her. Ray told him he had to leave, because even though we believed him the other coppers probably wouldn’t. I mean he threatened her infront of basically the entire station, so most of them thought it was deliberate. Ray helped the Guv escape while Chris ran for the ambulance. I stayed with her trying to keep her talking... It wasn’t any use though, she lost consciousness as the ambulance arrived. Then there was a massive enquiry with D and C, we tried to stick up for Guv but because we hadn’t actually seen what happened and because so many people said that they’d heard Guv threaten her, they wouldn’t believe us. I mean it was three against twenty and ma’am was unconscious so there was no one who could credibly  defend the Guv” </p><p>Annie nodded, even though she was still trying to process everything she’d heard from both Shaz and Alex. Finally, her thoughts cleared slightly and she spoke again. </p><p>“Wow. No wonder he was so desperate to bring her back.” She glanced at Gene again. She’d worked under him for seven years and believed that he’d never shoot one of his officers, at least not deliberately. He’d made it clear enough that his officers were his family and they looked after each other.  “Where did he go?”  She asked “from what you’ve said it sounded like a pretty large scale inquiry. I’m guessing every copper in London would have been looking for him” </p><p>Shaz nodded “ It was pretty big and every copper in London was looking for him. He went abroad which didn’t really help with convincing people he was innocent” Annie shook her head in agreement “Then he came back and went to see ma’am in hospital. Ray, Chris and I all went on the same day, we needed her back because of a case we were working on. We couldn’t crack it and we needed her brain. Then as if by magic the next day while we’re all working the two of them burst into CID and both got straight back to work.” </p><p>Annie almost choked on her drink “So let me get this straight, Guv woke her up from a coma to clear his name and then dragged her straight back to work?” </p><p>Shaz shrugged her shoulders “Pretty much yeah. It was good to have her back though, the three months she was gone the men went back to treating me like I was there as a personal servant, rather than someone who actually had a job to do” she rolled her eyes.</p><p>“Nothing like that ever happened when I was in CID I don’t think” Annie paused, absentmindedly tapping her glass. ”unless you count the time the Guv called Sam in the middle of the night because he had been framed for murder” She spoke very casually, a stark contrast to what she’d said. </p><p>Shaz chuckled “I’m noticing a theme here” </p><p>“He didn’t kill anyone luckily” Annie laughed along with Shaz, before becoming slightly more serious and lowering her voice again, nodding her head towards the men “but I uh think those few days probably shortened Sam’s life by about five years. Knowing Guv hasn’t done Sam’s blood pressure any favours” </p><p>As Annie spoke Alex pulled out a chair and sat down, dropping her eyes as she did so. Shaz felt a stab of guilt when she realised why. Alex’s eyes were glassy and her face was flushed, obvious signs she’d been crying. Before she could speak though,  Alex appeared to shake herself slightly, looking up with a small smile. “Has working with any of them done anyone of our blood pressures any favours?” She looked from Shaz to Annie as she spoke, trying to hide the shake in her voice.</p><p>Annie laughed softly “A fair point, probably not.” She looked at Shaz, who shrugged her shoulders again.</p><p>“Was it a day in CID if you didn’t consider slapping at least one of your colleagues?” She remarked drily, causing both Alex and Annie to laugh. Shaz was pleased that Alex had laughed and noted that when she spoke again her voice was stronger and lighter. </p><p>“I think their problem is all of them, with the possible exception of Sam, who was actually quite decent to work with, were confused and or intimidated by intelligent women. Particularly when those intelligent women-“ She looked at Shaz, who beamed “-come up with a lead for an investigation and their pride gets hurt because they didn’t think of it first” She paused and sighed ‘You know Shaz, when you suggested talking to Daniel Moore and the Guv insulted you then immediately followed your advice I was so angry. I told him as much while we were on route to speak to him but I don’t think he listened” </p><p>“Wait, WHAT?!.” Shaz’s face changed from amused to furious in a matter of seconds. Pushing away from the table she stormed over to where Gene was sat and slammed her hand on the table “GUV! Did you really go and see Daniel Moore after calling me a "lobotomized Essex girl" for suggesting it in ‘81?” </p><p>Gene’s face was a picture of panic for a fleeting second, much to the amusement of the others. Frantically he began trying to explain himself, tripping over his words “Ah, WP- I mean DC- Shaz. About that I can explain completely-” </p><p>Shaz folded her arms and glared at her former DCI “Well I’m all ears when you do” </p><p>“You see I was….” Gene trailed off, clearly trying to come up with an excuse on the fly. Around them, the other members of CID were trying and failing to consider their laughter. Irritated he snapped slightly “Is there a good reason for bringing this up Granger it was two years ago?” </p><p>Before Shaz could answer Alex cut in. </p><p>“We were bringing it up <em>Guv</em>  to prove a point about how none of you respected women in CID, even when they suggested strong leads. If I remember rightly the motivation behind that comment was to make yourself feel better after a WPC had had a better idea than any of the male detectives in that department, yourself included. It upset your fragile masculinity”  </p><p>
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        <em>Sam sighed, his voice laden when he spoke “I found out that my dad left after I saw him kill Ann-..... a police officer who was about to uncover that he was involved in some really sketchy things” He shook his head, almost like he was trying to wipe a bad memory from his mind. As he did so, something clicked in Alex’s mind. The first session she’d had with Sam… </em>
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          <em>….. <em>When I was a kid, my dad disappeared. My mum told me he was back on the road and that I’d see him again, but I never did. When I was in the coma I had to solve a crime involving two brothers, but it turned out neither of them existed. It had all been my dad. He killed one of the officers who tried to arrest him and….</em></em></em>
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            <em>She nodded. “Of course. But I never realised that the officer was” She turned back to the table and saw Annie and Shaz laughing together. Annie noticed the glances and stood up, making her way towards the Bar. Alex looked back at Sam who had followed her gaze and answered her question before she could ask it.</em>
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            <em>“I didn’t think it was important at the time. You wouldn’t have known who Annie was at that point, so giving you a name wouldn’t have made it any easier to understand.” He paused to thank Nelson as he brought their round over. Taking a sip from his glass he looked at Alex “But what about you?” </em>
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            <em>“What did you work through? If you’re ok talking about it” Sam’s tone was kind but cautious. </em>
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            <em>Alex nodded but before she spoke she downed most of her new glass of red wine. With shaking hands she filled it up again and then turned back to Sam. “When I was 8, my parents were killed by a car bomb. I spent my entire life believing they had been targeted because of the work they did, but no. My dad found out my mum was…..”She paused, inhaling shakily ”.....having an affair with my godfather so <em>he<em> planted the bomb and detonated it. I should have died too but I got out of the car to chase my balloon but…….I still saw the entire thing and  I found out the truth after I saw it again. None of CID understood why I was so obsessed with the Priceses. I was so desperate to save them. Then I found out what he’d done. He sent a confession tape to CID and just knowing he wanted me and my mum...”  Alex broke off, not knowing how to finish the story. </em></em></em>
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                <em>Annie found herself blinking back tears as she listened to the end of Alex’s story. She and Sam had known for a while that the Guv’s world existed to help coppers cope with their passing, or some life changing event. Hers being that she was killed as a twenty-four year old WPC. But she could have survived. <em>.I made the decision to chase Vic Tyler, even when I knew he could be dangerous she thought But Alex had no control over what happened to her parents and she feels guilty about the fact that she survived. All this time she’s spent feeling guilty about it.<em>  She put her drink down in favour of putting an arm around Alex “Oh my…Alex I’m so sorry. ” </em></em></em>
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                    <em>Alex sighed, blinking back tears of her own. “I don’t know what the worst part was. Having to relive it, realising that my mum actually did care about me but knowing it was too late to ever have any kind of relationship with her, or realising that it was my dad all along because he knew my mother was shagging my godfather, which was a whole other shock, or the fact that even after I knew all of that. I still was powerless to do anything” She sniffed before carrying on, “I thought before I knew the truth about the other world that I had a reason to be there. That if I fulfilled a duty I could get back to my daughter but I wasn’t just powerless and unable to help my parents, I was and am powerless and unable to help my daughter.” She put her drink down and rested her head on her hand, running the other through her hair. </em>
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                    <em>Annie picked up the jug of water from the tray. She poured Alex a glass and pushed it towards her. “Powerless? yes. Responsible for any of this? no. Alex you have to forgive yourself. You don’t have to forgive your parents or Evan, but you need to forgive yourself to move forward. What would you be saying if our situations were reversed?” </em>
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                    <em> Alex brought the glass closer to her. She knew deep down that Annie was right and had spent the better part of ten years telling people to do just that… She took a sip of water before replying “I would be telling you that it isn’t your fault and that you didn’t owe any of the people involved forgiveness but you owed yourself forgiveness because you were a child and everything that happened was out of your control” </em>
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                    <em>Annie laughed softly “I thought so. You need to take your own advice Alex and possibly talk more about what’s going on in your life. I understand why you never wanted to before,  but look around you. There’s six of us here who all think the world of you and we want to help you”</em>
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                    <em>Alex was shocked by Annie’s words but as she glanced back to the table she knew she was telling the truth. “I guess part of the reason I wanted to become a psychologist was so people didn’t have to face their issues alone because I knew what that felt like. Molly always had to come first and when my marriage broke down I lost one of my main support systems. I guess I just shut myself off from my emotions entirely. If I didn’t think about it I didn’t have to deal with it.” </em>
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                    <em>“Alex, you know as well as I do that what you were doing wasn’t healthy.” Annie’s voice was full of sympathy. “I know why you did it but you would have driven yourself mad eventually” </em>
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                    <em>Alex smiled tearfully. “I suppose you’re right. I think I had probably already driven myself mad, it just took three years surrounded by barbaric misogynists to sort my issues out.” She chuckled softly “If I didn’t sort myself out who would sort them out?” </em>
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                    <em>Annie joined in her laughter “If I knew nothing about CID I would be seriously concerned. But I know they’ve all got good hearts underneath the macho exterior” Annie smiled as they sat back down at the table, taking the two unoccupied seats.</em>
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                    <em>Sam looked around the table “It’s true what you said about CID sticking together. It’s a family, even if you don’t always agree” He paused and glanced at Ray, who luckily didn’t notice “not one of them would deliberately put you in danger and if you were in danger they would help you out”  Alex and Annie both nodded in agreement.</em>
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            <em>
              <em>
                <em>
                  <em>
                    <em>The others, upon noticing the three of them had returned claimed their drinks and silence fell across the table. Alex and Gene had found themselves sat next to each other in the constant swapping of chairs but neither of them spoke. They both took long drinks, draining nearly half of their respective glasses but still not speaking to each other. As they went to put their glasses down Gene’s hand brushed against Alex’s and they jerked away from each other like they’d been shocked. No one but Shaz noticed. <em>They cannot spend the rest of eternity like this.</em> She thought <em>At least in CID they could get away from each other. </em> She looked up and caught Annie’s eye. Nodding her head slightly towards Gene and Alex and then towards the dartboard behind her. Annie frowned then realised what Shaz was trying to say and nodded. Shaz turned to Ray her voice cocky.</em></em></em></em></em>
                  </em>
                </em>
              </em>
            </em>
          </em>
        
      
    
  
</p><p>
  <em>
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          <em>
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                        <em>
                          <em>
                            <em>“You know what Ray? You talk a big talk but I don’t think you could and Chris could beat me and Annie at darts.” </em>
                          </em>
                        </em>
                      </em>
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                            <em>Ray coughed, his surprise at Shaz’s suggestion causing his drink to go down the wrong way “Excuse me I think I’ve been playing darts long enough to beat a  couple of plonks” He looked almost insulted at the very idea of being beaten by two women. </em>
                          </em>
                        </em>
                      </em>
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                </em>
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                            <em>“Well why don’t you prove it?” Shaz replied, as she stood up she turned to Sam “Can you come and mediate?” </em>
                          </em>
                        </em>
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                            <em>Sam opened his mouth to refuse when Annie shot him a meaningful look and nodded her head towards Alex and Gene. Sam paused, then the penny dropped. He stood up and gestured for Ray and Chris to follow him. “Of course, come on lads it’ll be fun”</em>
                          </em>
                        </em>
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                            <em>“Oh alright, but no going soft on the plonks because you’re married to one of them” Ray grumbled, picking up his drink.</em>
                          </em>
                        </em>
                      </em>
                    </em>
                  </em>
                </em>
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                            <em>“He won’t need to go soft on us. If anything we should worry about him going soft on you two because he feels sorry for you” Shaz smirked, hitting Ray on the arm good naturedly as they walked to the dartboard. Annie caught Shaz’s arm.</em>
                          </em>
                        </em>
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                    </em>
                  </em>
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                            <em>“I hope this works” she spoke quickly and quietly, trying to avoid anyone overhearing. ”Because you know as well as I do we have very little chance of beating Chris, he’s amazing and I know that if we don’t beat them Ray’ll never let us hear the end of it.”</em>
                          </em>
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                            <em>Shaz nodded “Hopefully those two” she gestured over her shoulder to Gene and Alex “Will sort out their issues quickly so we can all sit down again and enjoy our drinks in peace.”</em>
                          </em>
                        </em>
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                    </em>
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                            <em>Alex watched them walk away and turned back to Gene “I suppose we should go and supervise the children. If Shaz can beat Ray it’ll probably be a game of darts worth watching.” She picked her drink up and made as if to stand up. Before she could Gene spoke, so quietly she almost missed it. </em>
                          </em>
                        </em>
                      </em>
                    </em>
                  </em>
                </em>
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  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
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          <em>
            <em>
              <em>
                <em>
                  <em>
                    <em>
                      <em>
                        <em>
                          <em>
                            <em>“Wait” </em>
                          </em>
                        </em>
                      </em>
                    </em>
                  </em>
                </em>
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          </em>
        </em>
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                            <em>Alex stopped. For the first time since he arrived she properly looked at him. He met her gaze and she noticed his eyes were clouded, not with tears but with something more complex. Whatever it was she felt the weight of it settle in her chest. With a sigh she sat back down, dropping her gaze back to the table. She and Gene both spoke at the same time before stopping.  </em>
                          </em>
                        </em>
                      </em>
                    </em>
                  </em>
                </em>
              </em>
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                    <em>
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                        <em>
                          <em>
                            <em>“I’m sorry about what I did when you left, I wasn’t fair to you-” </em>
                          </em>
                        </em>
                      </em>
                    </em>
                  </em>
                </em>
              </em>
            </em>
          </em>
        </em>
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  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
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                    <em>
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                        <em>
                          <em>
                            <em>“Every second I’ve been here I’ve regretted not insisting you came with me” Alex paused and gestured for Gene to carry on ”sorry….you go first” </em>
                          </em>
                        </em>
                      </em>
                    </em>
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                            <em>Gene sighed and downed the rest of his whiskey. He set the glass down and returned her gaze. “I never ‘ave been good at talking about this kind of thing, Bolly. Largely because I guess I don’t have a lot of experience in this department” Alex raised an eyebrow, her mouth pulling into a smile. Gene frowned “Shut up. What I’m trying to say is I wanted to follow you as soon as I let you go. I put you in a bad position, you had just realised you were never going to see Molly again, which must have been difficult but I didn’t want you to miss your chance to move on. If I had known that it wouldn’t have been you missing your chance I would’ve done things differently” He dropped his gaze back to the table and started fiddling with a napkin while he spoke. </em>
                          </em>
                        </em>
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                            <em>Alex took a moment to absorb what he’d said. She also dropped her gaze momentarily, running a hand through her hair “I didn’t want to leave. I didn’t think it was fair to you.” When Gene glanced at her in surprise, she rushed on “I mean you’d already lost Sam and Annie, but then to lose Chris and Ray AND Shaz at once after being forced to remember everything about this world and then almost having two of your best detectives leave you for the devil. None of it was fair Gene ” She didn’t bother trying to disguise the crack in her voice as she finished. </em>
                          </em>
                        </em>
                      </em>
                    </em>
                  </em>
                </em>
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                            <em>Gene didn’t acknowledge her voice cracking, instead he just sighed and rubbed his face with his hands. “Life’s not fair Lady B. You should know that” </em>
                          </em>
                        </em>
                      </em>
                    </em>
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                            <em>Meanwhile at the dartboard Shaz and Ray took their positions. </em>
                          </em>
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                            <em>Sam turned to Annie. “Are you sure this is going to work? I mean there’s every chance the Guv will just refuse to acknowledge the elephant in the room. He’s terrified of women, you know that.” Annie nodded and was about to reply when Chris interjected.</em>
                          </em>
                        </em>
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                            <em>“What I don’t get is why we have to leave them to it, I mean do we even know <em>that’s</em> what they’re going to talk about?” He shrugged his shoulders “I think you’re right ma’am, uh, sorry, Boss” He ignored Shaz’s laughter at his mistake and pressed on “I don't think I’ve ever heard the Guv talk about his feelings”</em></em></em>
                          </em>
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                                <em>Annie sighed. <em>Men</em>  she thought <em>They just don’t get emotions do they?</em> But then again this was Chris, who was an open book when it came to his feelings. “They have to talk to each other at some point, the alternative is they never speak about it and it just builds up and builds up until it all comes out in some great emotional outburst which is always worse for everyone involved.” Chris’s confusion was evident “Particularly as emotional outbursts tend to happen in the middle of an argument, which can lead to people saying horrible things they don’t mean out of anger, which would just make everything worse. The two of them clearly don’t hate each other and we don’t want them saying things to each other that suggest otherwise.” Shaz nodded in agreement and after a moment so did Sam. It took a few minutes before Chris nodded too but Annie realised he’d understood. </em></em></em></em></em>
                              </em>
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                                        <em>Sam glanced back towards the table, able to see Gene and Alex were at least talking, but unable to work out what they were saying. “I suppose you’re right. If there’s one thing Guv hates more than being forced to confront his feelings it’s being forced to confront feelings in front of other people. I just hope he doesn’t let his pride ruin something that could be really good” He sighed and turned his attention back to the game of darts.   </em>
                                      </em>
                                    </em>
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                                        <em>Back at the table Gene topped Alex’s glass up. She didn’t acknowledge the gesture, but spoke. Her voice weighed down, much the same way it had been outside the pub.</em>
                                      </em>
                                    </em>
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                                        <em>“If life was fair you would have had the life you deserved. You would have been amazing, I know you would” She sniffed and dragged a hand across her face. </em>
                                      </em>
                                    </em>
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                                        <em>“And you would have made it to your daughter’s birthday party.” Gene replied softly. </em>
                                      </em>
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                                        <em>Alex looked up again. A ghost of a smile flitting across her face. “It’s good to know we understand each other. We’ve both lost things we never really had” </em>
                                      </em>
                                    </em>
                                  </em>
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                                        <em>Gene didn’t look up “‘Aven’t we all Alex?”  </em>
                                      </em>
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                                      <em>
                                        <em>“You know what I mean, no matter what happened we were there for each other and I always felt that no matter what happened, if no one else did, you would look out for me.” Gene still didn’t look at her but she carried on regardless “You did the day I first arrived, before you even knew who I was. The day I went to arrest Chaz and nearly died, the day the Priceses were killed, when I first came out of hospital. When I realised I’d never see Molly again, you were the one who was there” </em>
                                      </em>
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  <em>
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                                      <em>
                                        <em>“That’s called being a team Bolly” Gene’s voice was clipped and sharp, Alex couldn’t stand it any longer, the barrier on her emotions finally breaking.</em>
                                      </em>
                                    </em>
                                  </em>
                                </em>
                              </em>
                            </em>
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                                      <em>
                                        <em>“Ok, can you just stop pretending that you don’t know what this conversation is about!? Stop pretending you don’t know what I’m trying to say? You don’t mean nothing to me Gene Hunt and unless you’re suddenly an incredible actor along with being a DCI and some kind of guardian of lost souls I refuse to believe I mean nothing to you.” She pushed back from the table and started to walk off before turning on her heel and glaring at him. “You know something Gene, I actually did care about what happened in my flat that night and you know I actually put in effort to try and impress you. If that was a wasted effort then all I can do is apologise” Alex started walking away from the table. </em>
                                      </em>
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                                        <em>As the group moved from the dartboard to the bar they stopped; it no longer looked like Gene and Alex were engaging in a peaceful conversation. It looked like they were about to have a full blown fight.</em>
                                      </em>
                                    </em>
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                                        <em>Sam gestured frantically “Oh God, should someone….?” he broke off, not sure what to suggest. Interrupting the conversation didn’t seem like the right thing to do, but left to their own devices he felt like there was a fair chance they might kill each other.  He was glad when Shaz sized the situation up and spoke. </em>
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                                        <em>“Wait, give them a minute. If they still look like they want to kill each other then we intervene, but this might be it” Annie and Sam shared looks of relief. Shaz had worked under both of them and from what they’d seen she was close to Alex, if anyone knew how to handle this situation it would be her.  </em>
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                                        <em>Annie nodded “I agree”</em>
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                                        <em>The five of them hoisted themselves onto bar stools. They tried to pretend and failed they weren’t listening in as Gene stood up and made as if to follow Alex.</em>
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                                        <em>“For goodness sake, sit down you dozy mare. Of course you mean something to me. Why do you think I was so desperate to have you back from that coma?” He spoke in a rush and then paused, like he’d revealed more than he’d meant to. </em>
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                                        <em>Alex didn’t respond if she thought he had. She still seemed irritated with him.“I don’t know, to clear your name with D and C?” Despite her frustration she did at least sit back down.  </em>
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                                        <em>“No! I mean yes” Gene stammered, panic starting to creep into his voice “but that wasn’t the main reason. I needed you Bolls, the team was falling apart without you and you said yourself you solved a lot of cases.” </em>
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                                        <em>Alex raised an eyebrow, her voice becoming softer, the irritation giving way to something else. Amusement possibly “You know I genuinely can’t tell if you’re deliberately missing my point or not” </em>
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                                        <em>Gene rolled his eyes “Fine. I’ll say it. Out of everyone’s opinion in CID yours is the one that matters, whether I want it to or not. It didn’t matter to me how Keats saw me, I cared how you saw me. When you went on your own to arrest Chaz and he nearly killed you, realising your warrant card was the one on the floor, realising I’d shot you, that I could have killed you-” Gene’s voice cracked, which shocked Alex. Before she could address it he inhaled steadily and carried on. “-I didn’t care who believed I’d done it deliberately as long as you knew I would never have hurt you deliberately Alex. Never.” He wouldn’t look at her when he spoke. He could feel the tears forming in his eyes and no matter what happened Gene Hunt did not cry. Ever. He didn’t know at that moment which would be worse, Alex absolving him or Alex blaming him. </em>
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                                        <em>Alex was shocked. She’d worked with Gene for three years and never once had she seen him act like this. “I know” she paused for a moment. “I always knew that you didn’t shoot me deliberately.” Gene relaxed at this comment, but then tensed up again.  </em>
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                                        <em>“It hurt, when I thought you were in league with our good friend Jimbo” </em>
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                                        <em>“I know, and I’m so sorry. If I had known the truth all along, I would have stayed away from him. But at first I genuinely believed he knew how to get me back to Molly. That was the only reason I let him anywhere near me. Molly is-” Alex caught herself, and much as it pained her to she corrected herself “was more important to me than anything. I didn’t want her to live the rest of her life without her mum. When I realised I wasn’t going to be able to go back to her, the one thing that made it anywhere near to bearable was the thought I might have been able to stay in CID with you” She held Gene’s gaze as she spoke. She needed him to believe her. </em>
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                                        <em>Back at the bar the remaining members of CID watched the two of them with interest. Shaz took a sip of water and set her glass down carefully. “At least they’re talking and they’re looking less like they want to murder each other” </em>
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                                        <em>Ray lit a cigarette and took a few drags. “I just hope they pack in this whole “everything is fine and nothing’s changed” act.” He shook his head, like he was trying to work something out. “Something clearly happened before ma’am came into the pub and whatever it was it made them incapable of acting normal around each other” Suddenly his face cleared and he slammed his hand down on the table, causing everyone to look towards him. “I’ve got it.” he announced smugly. </em>
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                                        <em>Chris’s confusion was evident in the frown that formed on his face “Got what?”</em>
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                                        <em>Ray paused, relishing being the centre of attention for a moment before he enlightened the others. “You know we came in before Drake did? I know what happened between her and the Guv before she came in.” When no one interjected he sighed “Come on you lot it’s obvious. Guv kissed her! I don’t know what happened after that, I think either she shot him down or he pushed her through the pub doors before either of them could process what had happened” There was a moment of silence as the others absorbed his revelation. </em>
                                      </em>
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                                        <em>Shaz was the first to recover herself. “Much as it pains me to admit it, I think you’re right. In all the time we’ve worked with ma’am I’ve never seen her act like that about anybody. I guess because she never had that emotional connection to anyone else” the others nodded. Shaz turned to Ray “I think he pushed her through the door before either of them could react, hence the emotional outpouring we witnessed earlier” </em>
                                      </em>
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                                        <em>Annie nodded “It would all fit together, the way they reacted when they saw each other, Alex sneaking off and coming back looking like she’s been crying” She paused for a moment looking around at the others“ I know you two” she gestured to Ray and Chris “Aren’t a fan of psychology but Alex has clearly been pushing her emotions down, afraid of confronting them. When Guv arrived it broke down the barrier in her mind. The slap wasn’t her being angry at the Guv, it was self defense. He was bringing back emotions she’d been trying to repress.” She sat back, looking pleased with herself. No one argued with her, not even Ray. There was another moment of silence, broken by Chris who gestured back towards the table.</em>
                                      </em>
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                                        <em> “Is now the time to start moving back?” </em>
                                      </em>
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                                        <em>Sam shook his head, he could see they had moved towards each other “Wait. Give them a minute...” </em>
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                                        <em>Gene sighed “So where does that leave us Bols?” </em>
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                                        <em>“I don’t know” </em>
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                                        <em>“What do you want from this Bolly?” As Gene spoke his eyes dropped from Alex’s to her lips and back up again. </em>
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                                        <em>Alex sighed, mirroring his movement “I could ask you the same question” </em>
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                                        <em>“I know what I want Alex” he paused and shifted slightly closer to her “it’s just a question as to whether you want the same thing”</em>
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                                        <em>“I do” Alex shifted closer to Gene. </em>
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</p><p>
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                                        <em>From the bar Chris suddenly noticed Alex and Gene moving closer to each other “Oh my God it’s actually happening!” He spoke louder than he realised, causing both Alex and Gene to look towards the others.  </em>
                                      </em>
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                                        <em>Sam spun round on his bar stool, clearly impressed that their plan had actually worked “I didn’t even work with the two of them at the same time but if the last few hours have been anything to go by then I’m under the impression this was a long time coming, they really seem to-“</em>
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                                        <em>“OI! GLADYS! CHRISTOPHER!” Gene’s voice bellowed across the pub, interrupting Sam.“WE AREN’T DEAF JUST BECAUSE WE’RE HAVING A CONVERSATION” Sam looked sheepish and turned towards the table.</em>
                                      </em>
                                    </em>
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</p><p>
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                                        <em>“Sorry Guv! Alex” he called.  Alex smiled and shook her head, which he took to mean he was forgiven. Gene scowled, but then again he always scowled so that wasn’t alarming. </em>
                                      </em>
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                                        <em>Shaz looked relieved “At least they didn’t kill each other, I thought at one point they might’ve done” she turned to Chris “Now Babes, I believe you told me that you thought they wouldn’t make up. So you know what that means” She grinned at him. </em>
                                      </em>
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</p><p>
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                                        <em>Chris swallowed and backed off his stool. “You weren’t being serious were you Shazzer?” He began desperately looking for an escape route but he wasn’t quick enough. Shaz looped her arm through his and dragged him towards Ray. </em>
                                      </em>
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</p><p>
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                                        <em>“Why would I joke about something like this? And while we’re on the topic Ray” She tapped him on the shoulder “I believe this wasn’t how you thought this plan would pan out” She raised an eyebrow, but Ray didn’t move</em>
                                      </em>
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</p><p>
  <em>
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                                        <em>“They didn’t kill each other and I didn’t think they would. That means I didn’t lose” He stubbed out the cigarette he had lit and glared at Shaz. Who just folded her arms. </em>
                                      </em>
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                                        <em>“You bet on a very specific scenario Ray. A scenario which we did not see. A bet is a bet and I have something which is just your colour Ray” Without another word she took each of them by the hand and pulled them into the ladies’ room. </em>
                                      </em>
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                                        <em>Sam rolled his eyes “Ray and Chris, simultaneously incredibly smart but incredibly stupid.” He picked up a tray of drinks and balanced it in one hand. Holding the other out to Annie “We should take these drinks over.” Annie took his hand and smiled. </em>
                                      </em>
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</p><p>
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                                        <em>“I assume if we sit down we won’t be interrupting?” </em>
                                      </em>
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                                        <em>“No” Sam breathed a sigh of relief but Gene hadn’t finished “I’d like to tell you though Sammy Boy that just because we were talking doesn’t mean we were oblivious to what you lot were talking about” Gene scowled at Sam, who immediately tried to explain himself. </em>
                                      </em>
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                                        <em>“Ah- wel- it was done with the best intentions Guv” He stammered.</em>
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                                        <em>Gene grunted “Hmph, I suppose. Anyway Cartright” He turned to Annie “where are those two tarts and that plonk?” </em>
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                                        <em>Alex rolled her eyes “That’s your finest WDC you’re talking about, and your two best deputies. They have names Gene” Gene didn’t reply, but waved a hand towards her in acknowledgement. She sighed and took a sip of her wine.</em>
                                      </em>
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                                        <em>Annie laughed and the others turned to her with inquisitive glances. She quickly straightened her face  and relayed the events “Ray and Chris had a bet against Shaz, about whether you two” She gestured to Alex and Gene “were going to kill each other or whether you were going to successfully talk to each other. Shaz won, which means Ray and Chris should shortly be appearing with new romantics makeup, whatever that means” </em>
                                      </em>
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</p><p>
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                                        <em>Alex and Sam snorted into their drinks. Alex regained composure first and wiped a stray tear from her face. “As someone who has seen Chris in new romantic makeup I can honestly say it kind of suits him. Ray I’m not so sure about but it must be worth seeing ” Sam nodded in agreement before stopping short. </em>
                                      </em>
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</p><p>
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                                        <em>“When did you see Chris in new romantic makeup?” </em>
                                      </em>
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</p><p>
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                                        <em>“In a nightclub once in ‘81” Alex replied casually</em>
                                      </em>
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</p><p>
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                                        <em>Gene suddenly sat up straight “And you never told me this because...?” he turned to Alex, torn between amusement and dissaproval</em>
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</p><p>
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                                        <em>Alex turned to face him “He begged me not to”</em>
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                                        <em>As she spoke Shaz reappeared, pulling a sheepish Ray and Chris behind her. Both of them had their heads down and refused to meet the eyes of their former colleagues. </em>
                                      </em>
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                                        <em>Shaz beamed as she approached the group “Anyone have a camera?” She asked innocently. </em>
                                      </em>
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                                        <em>“OI! YOU SAID NO PICTURES!”. Forgetting his desire to not be seen Ray jerked his head up to glare at Shaz, gaining laughter from the table. Shaz hadn’t intended to take pictures and only suggested so as bait, which Ray had fallen for so beautifully.  </em>
                                      </em>
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                                        <em>“That’s amazing!” Annie’s gaze flitted from Chris to Ray and back again before turning to Alex and Sam “Was this the trend of the 80s then?”</em>
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                                        <em>Sam nodded “One of them, at the time I wouldn’t have said it was my favourite but my opinion is fast changing” </em>
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                                        <em>While the conversation occurred Chris and Ray tried to wrestle out of Shaz’s grip. Before they could, Sam and Alex stood up and caught hold of them to get a closer look at the job Shaz had done.  Chris had red lipstick on with pink eyeshadow on his eyelids, turquoise eyeliner and yellow eyeshadow under his eyes and across his cheekbones and temples. Ray had pink lipstick paired with bright green and yellow eyeshadow and pink eyeliner. Shaz looked very pleased with herself. She hadn’t been lying, the makeup she’d picked for Ray really suited him.</em>
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                                        <em>Gene stood up slowly and carefully examined Ray and Chris’s faces. “Well” he pulled a cigarette out of his pocket and lit it. “At least if I had ever kicked you out of CID I can now sleep soundly in the knowledge you could have been promising models” He turned to Shaz “Good job Granger. Now”. He sat down at the table and picked his glass up with his free hand. “I’d like to propose a toast. To good colleagues” He looked round the table and smiled “and keeping scum off the streets.” He raised his glass and downed his whiskey in one go as the others echoed his toast. While sitting back down he caught Alex’s eye. She smiled warmly, her eyes sparkling. </em>
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                                        <em>“You know something Guv?” She asked, putting her drink down next to his. </em>
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                                        <em>He looked at her, realising she seemed the happiest she’d been since she’d arrived in his world “I have no doubt you’re about to enlighten me Bolly so go on” </em>
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                                        <em>Alex looked round the table and smiled. She knew that if nothing else, she was going to spend eternity with people she loved. “I think everything is going to be ok.” </em>
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                                        <em>Gene followed her gaze round the table, before landing back on Alex. “You know what Lady B, I think you might be right.” He looked up at her and shifted slightly closer. “I think even after all this time we still have unfinished business.” Alex didn’t speak, but nodded and shifted slightly closer as well. Gene let his eyes drop to Alex’s lips again, only flicking back up briefly to check her expression. She was smiling, he looked back down at her lips again but before he could move a voice behind him startled him and caused him to turn around with a glare. </em>
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                                        <em>“Bloody hell Guv! When did you get here?” Phyllis materialised behind him, completely oblivious to the moment she had just ruined. </em>
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                                        <em>Gene scoffed and rolled his eyes “You know I thought that in the afterlife I might get five minutes peace and quiet, but if that’s not going to happen I may as well bugger off again!” He stood up and faced her, a scowl on his face.</em>
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                                        <em>“Well it’s nice to see you too Guv” Phyllis’s face was a mirror of Gene’s. She slapped him on the arm before stepping round him. She stopped short when she caught sight of Chris and Ray. “What happened to you two?” She gestured from Chris to Ray. “I only went to have a kip for a few hours!” </em>
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                                        <em>There was a moment’s pause before everyone started speaking at once. Phyllis sighed and raised her voice. “One at a time please! I can’t receive multiple voices at once." She turned to Annie "Annie you start” </em>
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                                        <em>As Annie began to talk Gene sat back down next to Alex “You still think everything’s going to be alright Bolly-kecks?” He frowned but his tone was light. </em>
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                                        <em>Alex leaned over and kissed his cheek “Of course it will be. We’re all here and we’re all at peace.” She pushed back from the table and stood up “Now, I believe it’s my turn to bring the drinks in” raising her voice slightly she turned to address the others “My round! Is everyone sticking with the same drink?” The others nodded and Alex walked towards the bar. As he watched her go Gene became aware of the music playing for the first time. </em>
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                                        <em><em>Take a look at the lawman beating up the wrong guy. Oh man, wonder if he’ll ever know. He’s in the best selling show</em></em>
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                                        <em>He kicked his feet up onto a chair and relaxed.  <em>She’s right</em> he thought. <em>Things are going to be alright.</em>
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  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I hope people enjoyed that. Please leave a comment with your thoughts :).</p><p>These are the picture references I used for Chris and Ray's new romantic makeup.</p><p>Chris<br/>https://www.bing.com/images/search?view=detailV2&amp;ccid=XH3lM9CX&amp;id=3EB7FE86DB817900526B468F6F3ADBFAA2510E75&amp;thid=OIP.XH3lM9CXGlDtjjt4EdTPjwHaKp&amp;mediaurl=https%3a%2f%2fi.pinimg.com%2foriginals%2f01%2f76%2fb0%2f0176b038e30116305d0a62c23f9bf500.png&amp;exph=719&amp;expw=500&amp;q=new+romantic+makeup&amp;simid=608036531777046655&amp;ck=1EE0628D9595C5A9631E391FB621E51F&amp;selectedIndex=11&amp;FORM=IRPRST&amp;ajaxhist=0</p><p>Ray<br/>https://www.bing.com/images/search?view=detailV2&amp;ccid=9Ic86F4N&amp;id=17C8BBE4066B60D8D04B1BD01340B0074597E787&amp;thid=OIP.9Ic86F4NceZxCOx9Bb_hogHaF-&amp;mediaurl=https%3a%2f%2fi.pinimg.com%2foriginals%2f34%2ffe%2fbc%2f34febcb378265063b28e0723d62f6224.jpg&amp;exph=500&amp;expw=620&amp;q=new+romantic+makeup&amp;simid=607998993682465906&amp;ck=DCBD14FFF904FCF28E41E42005BE7575&amp;selectedIndex=153&amp;FORM=IRPRST&amp;ajaxhist=0</p></blockquote></div></div>
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